godsandmalik:

I will make it my fucking mission to smoke with Zayn. I just, I have to or I’ll just

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reblog | 58 notes


jaclcfrost:

do you ever start to get like really irrationally mad at people for no reason like because they’re standing around in the kitchen and won’t leave when you want to get some food or they move something you set down somewhere else or they forget to close the door when they leave like it’s just a stupid little thing but it makes you so mad

(via cant-catch-this-snitch)

reblog | 10,507 notes


rpgmaker:

pros of dating me

  • i will constantly tell you that you’re cute

cons of dating me

  • i will constantly tell you that you’re cute

(via tom-fletchers-booty)

reblog | 28,743 notes
reblog | 28,916 notes
utkbaby: @utkbaby: Getting ready for another afternoon of shopping.

utkbaby:

@utkbaby: Getting ready for another afternoon of shopping.

reblog | 2 notes


allmonds:

Pregnant woman make me so happy like wow yes u eat that extra piece of cake and no one will say anything yes u go pregnant lady u go

(via keepingupwithlorddisick)

reblog | 514 notes
andrewbreitel: ArrREST m eE OFFICeR!!!!!!!

andrewbreitel:

ArrREST m eE OFFICeR!!!!!!!

image

(Source: hornyyouth, via cheap-and-sleazy-but-not-so-easy)

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reblog | 9,481 notes
merrymalthus: quietlittleplaces:  I took this picture cause I knew this story was tumblr worthy. So I had been sitting in my big white van behind the lowell building, not going to class, and staring happily at a brick wall. out of the corner of my eye, i notice a man coming up the alley, slow down a little past the car, but ultimately keep going. the term ‘weirdo’ passed my mind, and I locked the doors even though any actual threat was minimal, and soon I was staring at the wall again. Not less than 5 minutes later I heard a knocking at the passenger side window. I look over, and it’s the same weirdo who walked by the car before; Except now he looked particularly nervous and had his nose pressed against the glass. I should mention that I never felt particularly frightened of this man. he was quite skinny, and seemed extremely skittish and fearful both when I saw him starting up the alley, and now, as he knocked. Anyway, I rolled down the window slightly and asked “can I help you?” with one eyebrow raised and a general look of confusion. he gestured at me with his chin, and said with an equally confused tone “you…eh…you…sex?” We had a moment of silence. Eyebrow still raised, and before I knew what was coming out of my mouth, I raised both my hands, shook my head and said “I’m wearing mittens”. He immediately started shaking his head up and down as if he understood, and practically started sprinting away. I lowered my hands after a minute and I…. what… I can’t tell which is funnier: The fact that this strange man thought I was some sort of portable hooker, parking my van behind churches and waiting for patrons, or that my proof against being a hooker was the fact that I was wearing mittens. this is one of the strangest interactions between two confused human beings i’ve ever heard of

merrymalthus:

quietlittleplaces:

 I took this picture cause I knew this story was tumblr worthy.

So I had been sitting in my big white van behind the lowell building, not going to class, and staring happily at a brick wall.

out of the corner of my eye, i notice a man coming up the alley, slow down a little past the car, but ultimately keep going.

the term ‘weirdo’ passed my mind, and I locked the doors even though any actual threat was minimal, and soon I was staring at the wall again.

Not less than 5 minutes later I heard a knocking at the passenger side window. I look over, and it’s the same weirdo who walked by the car before; Except now he looked particularly nervous and had his nose pressed against the glass.

I should mention that I never felt particularly frightened of this man. he was quite skinny, and seemed extremely skittish and fearful both when I saw him starting up the alley, and now, as he knocked.

Anyway, I rolled down the window slightly and asked “can I help you?” with one eyebrow raised and a general look of confusion.

he gestured at me with his chin, and said with an equally confused tone “you…eh…you…sex?”

We had a moment of silence.

Eyebrow still raised, and before I knew what was coming out of my mouth, I raised both my hands, shook my head and said “I’m wearing mittens”.

He immediately started shaking his head up and down as if he understood, and practically started sprinting away.

I lowered my hands after a minute and I….

what…

I can’t tell which is funnier: The fact that this strange man thought I was some sort of portable hooker, parking my van behind churches and waiting for patrons, or that my proof against being a hooker was the fact that I was wearing mittens.

this is one of the strangest interactions between two confused human beings i’ve ever heard of

(via keepingupwithlorddisick)

reblog | 111,283 notes


the-chubby-nerd:

I don’t care who you fucking think you are
If a kid wants to show you something they’re proud of, you better fucking act impressed
I don’t care if it’s a small score on a video game or a piece of art made of nothing but blue paint or even a fucking fake burp
You better fucking act like you just saw Jesus materialize out of thin air.

(via singingunderablueumbrella)

reblog | 113,787 notes